The Voicemail: A PSA

By Kaela

Let's take a quick sec to talk about Match.com. I mean Match.vom.

Match was always this last-resort idea in my head. It was the place I would go when all else had failed and I was ready to settle. Turns out,  I couldn't even settle for anyone on Match. It was the most depressing, I-can't-believe-I'm-paying-for-this, is-there-anyone-single-under-40?, hopeless experience of my dating life. The worst.

I did find one guy on Match who seemed nice though. We'll call him Buddy. Buddy and I emailed back and forth a few times, realized we had some mutual friends and things in common, and eventually decided to meet for an ice cream date at Sweet Cow (which is the best best best) at 3:00 on a Thursday in July.

He arrived 15 minutes late, which is fine - whatever - but not a great start. We then got ice cream and chatted for about an hour. It was fine. I didn't want to be there because of other stupid choices I was making at the time (long terrible story), so I honestly didn't try all that hard. I also didn't find him funny or feel the spark. He was a really nice guy, but *it* just wasn't there.

After an hour, he had to go and I wasn't sad about it. So we said our See You Laters and that was that.

I never texted.

Neither did he.

TWO FULL WEEKS later, I saw that he was calling me. My stomach dropped. "He's calling to ask for another date," I thought to myself. I hate this part - turning anyone down. In a way, I'd always rather have the guy end it. My people-pleaser ways make it absolute hell for me to feel like I've disappointed another person. But no, Kaela, get over yourself. Here's what he was actually calling to say:

"Hey Kaela, this is Buddy. Uh, we went out for yogurt, or ice cream actually, about a week and a half ago. I apologize for taking so long to call you back. I don't know if I told you at the time, but [[personal details that feel more respectful to leave out]]. So I've been dealing with that, and now the school year craziness is happening. Anyway. I wanted to say, hey thanks for going out with me. It was good to meet you. I think though, that... uh... sorry to do this over the phone... I don't know how to do this otherwise. But, um, I think it's best --- there's someone else I'm going to be trying to pursue through Match.com. So, um, thank you, it was fun, but I think we're best just as friends. So, I appreciate it. Give me a call if you want. If not, best of luck, it was fun meeting you and finding out all of the connections we had. Enjoy your school year. Bye."

I'm not being a bitch, okay? I realize that this was really respectful and he was well-intentioned. But also this was completely unnecessary!! And, in the end, it felt like a rejection when I wasn't even interested!

Public Service Announcement: This, fellas, is completely uncalled for. If I didn't hear from you for two weeks after a one-hour date, I think I've taken the hint. Thank you and let's move on.